Dancing is one of the most embarrassing things a tall person can do.
(Pause for dramatic effect)
You can be the most musical person in the entire world but if you are tall and lanky, you are screwed. That is the situation which I am faced with every time that I am at a wedding, our school's swing dancing nights, or in the rarest of rare occasions, a club. I mean, I'm 6'2''... I think it makes a lot of sense anatomically because it probably takes an extra split second to send the signal for "two hops this time" from my brain to my feet. In that extra split second, I fall a bit behind and cannot get myself to complete the next step in time. So while Mr. Shortstack is busy impressing people with his dirty fedora and ruffled shirt, I am off to the side watching his brain send the same neuro-messages that I am desperately trying to send... only his take far less time to reach his feet. (But good luck reaching your hat when I put it on the top shelf of your cupboard...)
So that being said, I have some advice for my height inclined brethren. Avoid dancing like the plague- all it is doing is embarrassing us as a population and making our dates uncomfortable. So let us stick with what we do best. You know... playing basketball, dating models, becoming presidents... etc. ;-)
Saturday, March 26, 2011
Sunday, March 20, 2011
#2 These are My Great Great Grandparents
There is just something really cool about old photos. Sigh... 
Wednesday, March 16, 2011
#1. Daily Dose of Random Stuff
I learned the following things today.
1. Women shoplift four times more than men.
2. Beards and broad shoulders are secondary sex characteristics in human males.
3. The U.S. government spends between four and five dollars on elderly folks for every dollar it spends on children.
Food for thought, I suppose. As for the women bandits, I was surprised by this until I recalled the high-school memories of my sisters sneaking into my room seemingly every morning while I was still in bed and swiping my coolest t-shirts before I "woke up." Thus, women = thieves.
As for the beards and broad shoulders, I would love to have a little more in that department. Particularly beards. A regular old stringy beard is fine... maybe even good if you shave it just right. But a thick beard is like In-n-Out's neapolitan shake... a delicacy. For those of you who haven't tried the neapolitan shake, you really haven't lived quite yet.
The whole spending thing is way more complicated, so I will leave it to the experts. But I will say that it doesn't make me feel all that good, since I much more resemble a spry youth than a wise elder. Does that mean that I am not worth as much? I guess I wouldn't be that offended if that were the case. After all, those elderly folks have been paying taxes and fighting wars and working hard for decades before my parents even were alive. They planned on having Social Security, Medicare, and other entitlement programs, so I would imagine that's why they are getting at least four dollars for every dollar I get for diminishing education and what not (side note- it would sure be great to have a woodshop class or even an art or music class in public schools these days). All I would ask is that we just not have to pay towards this system which we can no longer afford. I love my grandparents and my older fellow American citizens and I mean no offense in saying this, but I naturally don't want to pay for your stuff. Seriously, just tell me that I am not getting a piece of this entitlement pie, and I will be much happier. Who knows? Our grandparents fought in wars. Maybe our war to fight is not against Nazis or communists but against the heavy burden of debt? While it may be difficult, the naive child inside of me would help pay for the health of our retirees, if only it meant change to the system was coming and my voice would be heard.
I would venture to say that we (the royal we, who in this case represent children and high school students) get one dollar compared to the four dollars of a retiree for another reason, too. We cannot vote. Yes I can because I am 19, but in high school, I could not. Furthermore, we cannot make aggressive campaign contributions like our older folks can. Our American democracy has become very effective in catering to every single interest group with even the slightest desire to obtain something. But we are the interest group that has no voice. Students. And now we sit in high school English classrooms with 49 of our closest friends. So don't ask us to compete with Swedish or Japanese students until the adequate priorities are in place. That's my soap box. That's some classic college student frustration. Poop. I didn't mean to go on that long. Thanks for listening.
~dk~
1. Women shoplift four times more than men.
2. Beards and broad shoulders are secondary sex characteristics in human males.
3. The U.S. government spends between four and five dollars on elderly folks for every dollar it spends on children.
Food for thought, I suppose. As for the women bandits, I was surprised by this until I recalled the high-school memories of my sisters sneaking into my room seemingly every morning while I was still in bed and swiping my coolest t-shirts before I "woke up." Thus, women = thieves.
As for the beards and broad shoulders, I would love to have a little more in that department. Particularly beards. A regular old stringy beard is fine... maybe even good if you shave it just right. But a thick beard is like In-n-Out's neapolitan shake... a delicacy. For those of you who haven't tried the neapolitan shake, you really haven't lived quite yet.
The whole spending thing is way more complicated, so I will leave it to the experts. But I will say that it doesn't make me feel all that good, since I much more resemble a spry youth than a wise elder. Does that mean that I am not worth as much? I guess I wouldn't be that offended if that were the case. After all, those elderly folks have been paying taxes and fighting wars and working hard for decades before my parents even were alive. They planned on having Social Security, Medicare, and other entitlement programs, so I would imagine that's why they are getting at least four dollars for every dollar I get for diminishing education and what not (side note- it would sure be great to have a woodshop class or even an art or music class in public schools these days). All I would ask is that we just not have to pay towards this system which we can no longer afford. I love my grandparents and my older fellow American citizens and I mean no offense in saying this, but I naturally don't want to pay for your stuff. Seriously, just tell me that I am not getting a piece of this entitlement pie, and I will be much happier. Who knows? Our grandparents fought in wars. Maybe our war to fight is not against Nazis or communists but against the heavy burden of debt? While it may be difficult, the naive child inside of me would help pay for the health of our retirees, if only it meant change to the system was coming and my voice would be heard.
I would venture to say that we (the royal we, who in this case represent children and high school students) get one dollar compared to the four dollars of a retiree for another reason, too. We cannot vote. Yes I can because I am 19, but in high school, I could not. Furthermore, we cannot make aggressive campaign contributions like our older folks can. Our American democracy has become very effective in catering to every single interest group with even the slightest desire to obtain something. But we are the interest group that has no voice. Students. And now we sit in high school English classrooms with 49 of our closest friends. So don't ask us to compete with Swedish or Japanese students until the adequate priorities are in place. That's my soap box. That's some classic college student frustration. Poop. I didn't mean to go on that long. Thanks for listening.
~dk~
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